Masks Off: “We’re less than a week away from Halloween! If you had to design a costume that channeled your true, innermost self, what would that costume look like? Would you dare to wear it?”
So if I had to design my own costume for Halloween, I am pretty sure I’ll never win any contest except for “Worst Costumes Created by Kids” Award. LOL Though I’d love to create stuff, I have to accept that my “creative skills” are weak. See that image I made above? I guess my artistic 5 year-old nephew can draw better than that. Haha 😀
Anyway, let’s not focus on my drawing but let’s talk about the reasons behind why I had this costume.
So I chose to be a One-Winged Fairy to describe my true, innermost self, for a few reasons.
First, I see myself as someone who wishes to fly. Someone who works hard to achieve many goals. Someone who aspires greatness in every aspect of my life: it may be in Career, Relationship, Health, Spiritual, Intellectual, Emotional, & Physical. I am just like everybody else desiring for success. Though success could mean different things to different people, I guess we all have that common want: being able to fly high and soar to our dreams.
Second, I see myself as someone happy, pleasant, and charming, just like a fairy. I can add colors to people’s lives and I have that magic to bring joy to everyone. But like a fairy, I also see myself as someone small and I prefer to get unnoticeable. Just like a fairy, I just want to fly on my own.
The sad thing though..
Though I really want to fly high, I can’t. I can’t because my other wing is broken. I can’t because a part of my inner self is trapped. I feel trapped by my feelings, fears, and frustrations. Though I want to be successful, I can’t. I can’t because I can’t seem to stand in social gatherings, I shy away from people, and I am afraid to voice out my honest opinions straightforwardly. I’m not saying that I lie with my views, but it’s just difficult for me to say some things honestly, thus I avoid confrontations to prevent hurting anyone. I don’t consider myself pretentious, though I pretend to be okay most of the time. As a result, I often settle for “okay”, thus end up sacrificing my real wants. I hate myself for that though. Having said that, I’m like a fairy who seemed “fair” at first, but who has broken parts somehow.
And like a fairy who may not be comfortable in having only one wing, I will strive to do my best in doing what I’m supposed to do amidst discomfort: I will dare to fly and bring goodness to this magical world. It’s a good life, after all. 😉