It’s past 2am and I am wide awake thinking about some things.
While the world is asleep and everybody is off to dreamland, here I am listening to the deafening silence of our house and the loud voices in my head.
I am overthinking – again. It’s not the first time and probably not the last time that I would stay up late only to worry.
I don’t know if it’s a “mom thing” or it’s just really me but I have a tendency to overthink quite a lot. And I don’t like it one bit.
If you’re a mom who constantly worries and overthinks things, this letter is for you.
Dear Overthinking Mom,
Hey! How are you doing?
I know you’ve been up all night again thinking about everything – your family, finances, work, house, school, childcare, bills, health, relationships, and the list goes on.
You know you’re overthinking when your mind can’t stop with the looooong list of “What Ifs” or “I don’t know what to do with..”. You stay up late worrying, spending countless hours being restless, imagining how those “unrealistic fear” end in something negative.
Look at yourself. You are worrying so much.
Should I do this or that?
Should I go for it or not?
What if this happens..
What if I’ll regret it later..
What if it’s a bad idea or a terrible mistake..
I shouldn’t have done this..
I shouldn’t have said that..
What should I do next?
Where should I go?
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Does the voice in your head talk a lot and confuse you?
Hey, you are so not alone.
I understand how you feel. I know it sucks!
I am sorry if you feel anxious and overwhelmed by so many things going on in your life at this moment.
I am sorry if you feel like things are not getting any better.
I am sorry if you feel lost, stuck, confused or undecided.
I am sorry if you feel like you can’t handle the weight on you.
I am sorry if you feel like there’s too much noise and chaos happening around.
I know it doesn’t feel good to be in your shoes right now.
I know how complicated, messy, blurry, and unfair life gets sometimes.
I get it.
I get you.
Maybe we are facing different realities today and we are probably heading opposite paths now. But all of us definitely go through the same tough roads in life.
We all experience a few bumps along this life journey. And in some circumstances, we get too overwhelmed that we overthink things.
Just like you, when I overthink, my mind wanders in different directions thinking about many things all at the same time. And it happens usually at night. My mind gets quite active and easily crowded, pumping different ideas and sometimes, confusing thoughts as well.
It often makes me feel lonely and isolated. While the whole world seems moving forward, I feel like I am just standing still – stuck. Stuck overthinking. I overanalyze things. I over-estimate my problems. I keep on thinking about what is wrong or what could go wrong.
Are you like that too?
Do you often think and think AND THINK about things, only getting you confused in the end?
Well, that’s the problem when we overthink.
We think over and over and over again but that’s it. We simply think – aimlessly.
I mean, what usually happens is we focus so much on the “thing” itself – may it be a problem, a situation, a conflict, or even an opportunity. We only focus on the issue at hand and nothing else.
We stop considering what the solutions are, what’s the available option, or where is the better way. It’s like our minds wander far and wide but we never get past anything else.
Inside our worrying minds, we are like a mouse running in circles – constantly moving around but never really getting anywhere.
Eventually, we’ll get tired. And just like the mouse, when we stop running – when our minds stop overthinking – we find ourselves still in the same exact spot where we started – still with the same unresolved issue.
Then it gets frustrating when it starts to feel never-ending, right?
Here’s what I learned about overthinking.
Overthinking only adds more pressure and tension when confusing thoughts hit you.
It creates a huge bubble of worries and fears that keep you away from your reality.
It will keep you up at night thinking about the ugly stuff and the terrible things that “might happen”.
Overthinking will kill your confidence and only cause you anxiety.
Let’s stop that. Don’t let overthinking get the best of you.
Let me help you.
Here’s what you need to do to feel a little better.
When you find yourself overthinking, just stop and breathe.
Yes, just breathe.
I know I sound silly (and too cliche) to you right now. I’m not gonna pretend to be a “life coach” who’s an expert in would giving you tips to “feel better”. I will not.
But I will simply try to be that “mom friend” who gets it.
Breathe and do it very slowly.
Take a slow deep breathe.
1 – 2 – 3..
Exhale and let go whatever is worrying you now.
Stop fearing about all the things that “could go wrong”.
Stop overthinking about the things that you should or should not do.
Stop being sad about the things that aren’t happening just yet.
Stop putting too much focus on your problems.
Stop thinking about what you lack.
Stop your thoughts from racing in different directions.
Now try as much as you can to get your mind into the present moment.
Observe what’s around you.
Clear your thoughts and stay in the present moment.
Remove the clutter from your clouded mind and now start focusing on the solutions.
How can you possibly solve the issue?
What are you capable of doing?
List all the things that you can do AND need to do.
Think outside the box and imagine all wonderful possibilities.
When it comes to big life decisions, I know we need to really think things through and think about them a few more times so we could come up with better decisions.
In many cases, you need to see the bigger picture of your situation to look for the answers.
If you can’t find the right solution now, that’s okay.
No need to get stuck for too long. Instead, just keep your mind focused on the good things that are happening. Eventually, what you need will present itself to you – sometimes in the most unexpected way.
Stay patient and keep the faith. You will figure it out soon. Trust that things will come out better in the end.
Remember, it’s gonna be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not yet the end.
Keep your mind focused on the brighter side. Today, right now, at this very moment, I want you to look at what you already have.
Look around you. What’s the most beautiful thing in your life right now?
Carefully look around and see the real beauty in front of you.
What are you thankful for in your precious life?
List at least 15 things that you’re grateful for in this life. Or list them all down. The more specific, the better. Big or small – recognize them.
By the time you finish writing, I assure you that even when you haven’t resolved your problem yet, you will surely come out with a clearer mindset and a more determined spirit.
You got this, momma! 😘
All the best to you in your life & family journey! ❤
Cheering for you,
Your Fellow Overthinking Mom
Over to you moms, how do you feel about this letter? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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