WARNING. Frustration Level: 97/100 | Language: Not So Good | Sanity: Below Normal | Post Length: LOOOOONG READ
I woke up to a cold, beautiful Tuesday morning and thought to myself, “What a lovely day!”, with a little smile on my face. My children were still asleep and I had a little time for myself. It was so relaxing to watch them sleep, probably dreaming of some of our fun family moments. Ooooh, I love this life! 🙂
Two hours later, I just found myself SCREAMING at my kids!
Fvck. What did just happen?
I just SCREAMED at my kids! LIKE FOR REAL!!! I was so mad I can’t even begin to grasp what just happened. I lost it. I fvck*n lost all of it. I thought I was just a crazy mom. Now, I realized that I am a crazy-screaming-yelling-no-clue-tired-frustrated-monster mom! I started the day with a great mood but it suddenly turned sour. And I didn’t just scream at them but I also slammed the computer mouse while I was trying to work on something online.
WTH was wrong with me?!!
Please, if you wanna judge me – just keep it to yourself.
Here’s the truth.
I love my children. I freakin’ love them so much even when they drive me crazy. I love being a parent. I love being their mom. I love this roller-coaster parenting journey! I love everything about my little family. I love all the ups and downs, the beautiful and ugly moments, the stinky laundry and dirty dishes, the mess and the silliness, the proud milestones and embarrassing meltdowns, the cool artworks and the little attitude, the genuine kindness and sarcasm, the humor and heartwarming sweetness, the little giggles and boisterous laughter. Everything that’s part of Family Life & Parenthood – I FVCK*N LOVE THEM ALL!
BUT I also hate them, at times. Like today when I raised my voice at my kids and continually ignored them when they said sorry.
It just gets so overwhelming and exhausting sometimes. With little or no warning at all, my parenting frustrations quickly rise up to an unbelievable level and I explode! The pressures of being a parent are so real – I feel like my mind is rushing to different places at high speeds. Sometimes, all I wanna do is lock up and cry. For real!
But when I think hard about it, I can’t find a real, “big deal” issue about my children or with our situation. It seems like all of these frustrations were slowly built from tiny nuances – so small that they don’t even matter at all, or not that much. Not until they continue to pile up, one over the other.
Do you know the little annoying things that I’m talking about?
I don’t know where to start but like my kids, I have hundreds of “WHY” questions.
Why do kids can’t understand the value of time?
Why do they seem so relaxed when we are trying to hurry and catch up something?
Why can’t they just eat what’s on the table and not be so picky?
Why can’t they eat properly and not play when eating?
Why can’t they just look for their missing shoe without telling me it’s not there. – wherever “there” means.
Why can’t they just stop fighting over small stuff?
Why can’t they just keep their toys after playing without me reminding them over and over again?
Why can’t they put on their clothes immediately after a bath?
Why can’t they just stop watching Youtube when I tell them the first time?
Heck, why can’t they just do what I tell them to do, right away?
AND WHY CAN’T I HAVE MY OWN MOMENTS OF PEACE EVEN FOR JUST 5 FREAKIN’ MINUTES?!
Before you laugh at my ridiculous sentiments. I know what you’re thinking. I know I am being such a
b*tch baby complaining about these little things – when they’re nothing worthy to complain at all. I know I should not sweat the small stuff. I know there are more important things that I should focus instead of ranting like a child here on my “mommy blog” – which is IRONIC. I know that I should prioritize what matters most and that I should be grateful for all the good (and bad) things.
I know I should cherish the moments and enjoy the experience. I know I should look at the bright side because time flies and they will grow up fast. I know these “WHY” questions all boil down to how I discipline and teach my kids. I know I just have to be more patient because they are just young kids and I am the adult who should know better. I know that these “issues” are nothing compared to the real deal when they grow up, especially in the teenage years. I know I shouldn’t be too hard on myself, especially when these are just little bumps. Yeah, I know.
I absolutely know ALL of that. That’s what everybody tells me. I already read those from parenting books and heard those parenting wisdom from experts. I even gave my own similar parenting advice to some too.
But please, hear me out.
Can I just stop trying to be a good mom for a second? Can’t I just be a clueless-frustrated-super-exhausted mom and rant all I want?
Clearly, I missed finding time for Mommy ME Time!
Why is raising kids so damn hard? I thought I was just supposed to feed, bath, and dress them and they’re all set. What is this “good parenting” they call? Are there parenting manuals out there that I’m missing out?
Why does it seem like every other parent gets it? They look so perfect, I don’t understand why. Am I the only one who can’t get my parenting sh*t together?
Wait. I think the real question is.. WHY is everybody keeping their OWN parenting frustrations and act so good at being a parent? WHY???
Are you telling me that I should just try and try harder?
Know what? I did. Yes, I tried. I tried so damn hard! But guess what? I tried and I am fvck*n tired.
Hey! Are you a clueless-frustrated-super-exhausted parent too? Rant your frustrations in the comments below! I won’t judge, I promise! 😉
Don’t forget to share this post with your fellow frustrated parents to let them know they aren’t alone. WE ARE ALL IN THIS CRAZY PARENTING JOURNEY TOGETHER! 😉
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