Juggling work and school and kids and household responsibilities have been driving me crazy the past months. And in order to keep my sanity, there’s one simple rule I follow whenever I go through some crazy times: Smile and Keep Going.
Before I got myself into this, I knew it was going to be challenging. In fact, I was excited about the coming challenges. But I guess I didn’t seriously thought about the real difficulties I had to deal with, which all boils down to TIME & MONEY MANAGEMENT. Well, I knew time and money will be an issue for me, but it’s always gonna be an issue for everybody, whatever they’re into. So I thought it wouldn’t be too hard, after all, I’ve been dealing with this all the time. Now I realized I was wrong. I understand that time and money are tricky to manage. And I was kinda crazy to believe that I can manage them easily while serving more masters at the same time. In my case, I am serving at least three masters: KIDS, WORK, SCHOOL, plus a small BUSINESS on the side. CRAZY! I mean, what was I thinking? Seriously. The problem was because I took my situation pretty lightly. I was like, “Oh, that’s easy. I can take care of the kids and go to school and work. For sure I can work out a good schedule and manage everything well. I’m sure I can handle this. It’s only for a semester anyway.”
THEN I LEARNED I WAS SO WRONG.
Honestly, I’ve been feeling so worn out lately. My mind is trying to remember hundreds of things in a single time: Like “I have to study for Calculus tomorrow” “I have to research for my homework about Cargo Handling” “I need to see my English teacher for a special exam” “I have to text my manager for my schedule” “I should remind Zooey that I’d come home late tonight” “I will go to the bookstore later” “I need to plan for my F&B menu” “I will call Zion’s doctor this morning” “I have to update this week’s budget” “I need to remind my friend’s due” “I have to get my orders at the center” “I have to buy Zion’s milk and diaper” “I have to reply to an important email” “I have to pay for my tuition next week” “I have to….”
“I have to EAT”
Oh, eating. The most important thing to do which I barely remember to do. Ugh. My body is multitasking often that I find myself achieving so little. I know I can’t handle all of these. But at the same time, I feel that everything’s gonna work out fine soon. I’m starting to feel unmotivated and out of focus. But at least I am mindful that I am about to lose track of my own direction. That’s how I can force to redirect myself to my dreams. I don’t want to loose sight of my goals but the problem is, honestly, I am no longer sure about my own goals. I am starting to question what I really want. I know it’s not healthy that I’m over thinking things, but how I can stop? I can’t stop. The only thing I can do for now is to keep a positive attitude towards everything that I’m in right now. Though everything seems crazy on my mind, I always keep telling myself that it’s almost over and it’s going to be better. I let myself imagine that I’d have a grand break soon. Even if I feel that I’m not so sure about what I’m doing, the important thing is just to keep going. I know it’ll all be worth it. Hopefully. I guess this is one of those times when I can’t seem to find a lot of goodness, but I believe that this life is still so goood. Really, what’s not good about attending many things at one time? That only means I can do more. But really, can I? Hmmm.. But still, it’s good and I commit to continue living this good life. Again, just SMILE AND KEEP GOING! 🙂